Dispatches from a second story bedroom

Party Over

Hey...what's up blog? I have been lazily tumbl'in' my life away because it is so much easier and does not involve so many words.

But check this out, I kept handling the Céline "Medium Box" bag in all its permutations while on vacation and was struck with the thought, "Why are you so heavy in every sense of the word?" I even held the Tom Ford "Carine" bag and couldn't get over its weight and sheer stupidity of its clasp. Even the simplest things are ruined by things like leather weight and difficult closures. I cannot stand bags that hang open or require two dedicated hands to close.

Then I saw this. It's priced right and has all the pocket elements I require in a bag and I'm looking to downsize from my usual laptop-friendly type bag. I'm growing up. It's time to be a lady.

It doesn't make me want to tear my skin off like my-imagination-of-not-the-actual Céline but even the real thing proved not as advertised so one must adjust their search. It's nearly identical inside and has a less frustrating closure. Bags are so hard. Why are bags so hard? I kind of wish this wasn't just in basic black but what're you gonna do when you're satisfied with everything but the color? Can I get this in oxblood, Raoul? 

where I'm at

"If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear."

Right now, all I have energy for is waiting to see how Céline will diffuse into Zara separates. Seriously. 

the Kobayashi

Kate Moss must be some kind of fashion savant because her mouth does not work right. No wonder she pulled a Garbo for so long. Ace move sweetheart. Way to play to your strengths.

I have been mentally obsessing over this 2003 spread. Am I jonesing hard for the early 2000s now that we're leaving this decade in the dust? Bay Garnett is my azimuth compass. And that compass is telling me it's ok to wear sweats with gigantic Wilma-sized pearls.

When I stay in bed all day eating bon bons and watching In Treatment, sweat pants begin to become a concept I toy with. Why not sweatpants?  Tell me. And I mean real shitty high waisted 50/50 cotton poly blend $9.99 at K-mart sweatpants, not luxury cashmere blend Rick Owens that need to be dry cleaned or handwashed. I am talkin' super-laze for the girl who does her own laundry. Ones that if you put in the time with become as soft as old flannel. You gotta do the work. It is a process!

I have been dealing with themes of Madonna levels of fame and how you stop giving a shit about looking hot all the time and start being real and wearing silk boxing shorts with freshly showered wet hair because they feel amazing. Take Julian Schnabel por ejemplo, oh the Toronto premiere of my new film? Sure I mean I'll wear a blazer over my silk pyjamas. Of course. 2011 is all about going wherever however you want.

Check it.

everybody here wants you

I am sure that nearly no dudes are reading this but if you are and you're ever at a loss as to what to get your special ladyfriend, do not, I repeat, Do. Not. Use her Amazon wishlist as a guide. I know it seems at odds with what a wishlist does or should do, but my wishlist is a wreck! I have a Holly Golightly sleep mask in my wishlist!

I am now the proud owner of a book I wanted to see the inside of in September for reasons (fashion related no doubt) I can't remember. Old Condé Nast photographers? It's an old and beautiful book, do not get me wrong. The thought counts.  It's just, we'd rather you asked versus trying to go all broken arrow with our gift. Christmas is not the time for going rogue. And of all books, why not Ken Pate's Roquette = Rockers which we talked about! This book? Not a peep! Also on the list, and even more clichéd a gift but still actually wanted? Arpège by Lanvin eau de parfume. I mean really.

Here is a list of things on my real deal Holyfield wishlist and not on that placeholder I use over at Amazon.bomb

Palmer's Cocoa Butter Sticks - $3

Superjail! DVD - $10

Melangerie State by Celebrity Tote - $15

Criterion Collection Häxan DVD - $32

No Mas Zaire 74 t-shirt - $34

Catbird gold letter stud earrings (M and F) - $40 ea

Worn Free 'I Wiped Out The 60s' t-shirt - $45

 

Esme silk Navajo print blouse - $60

Land's End tea rose cashmere v-neck sweater - $90

Game changing turquoise ring - $150

Azzaro Stripper Shoes - $175.00

Frye Harness 8R Shearling Boots - $298

Design Within Reach Rubik marble service table (not shown) - $500

no flies on me

Just so you feel like you're in the loop on my time in Seattle:

I know that we had a very firm agreement about waterfall cardigans being some sort of death knell of fashion but whoops I went and bought one. It's a wool blend and washable, what can I say, I was cold. It was raining sideways and that is bullshit. I removed that dickish belt and threw it in the garbage can outside the store. I feel a crucifixion coming on. Bring it. I paid sales tax at H&M, you heard right.

I tried this on and it felt half-right but I couldn't get over the feeling of having horses all over my body. Big horses all over my tits and ass. Also, tunics, really? They make me want to say GTFO every time I see them. I may regret this decision. Time will tell.  It's still available online, relax. And also sales tax. Thumbs down Washington. 

Seattle, what the fuck are you doing with an All Saints before a Zara? I am confused. I don't know how many mid-range-affording-Rick-Owens-striving fans live in the entire metro area but it can't be enough to keep this store alive. I've seen their shoes so I know. Zara on the other hand...get on it! I need a real reason to visit Seattle and the internet is making your entire city superfluous to me.

My new best scent, I got it at Blackbird. That store keeps growing and growing into this perfect cottage industry. They only employ the most finely groomed urban lumberjacks available. Ballard is now officially too hip for words. Where's the next burgeoning neighborhood Seattleites? Is it White Center?

P.S. I ogled the Céline bags (no inner pockets!) at Barneys and saw how ridiculous those Alaïa boots look in person. So many women with expensive taste, wearing the worst shoes. The shoe department was a ghost town. All the women buy ugly scarves at Barneys. It's pandemic. What's the point in money if you're going to buy garbage? Donate it to charity instead of shopping at Barneys and then taking the escalator up to Chico's. Seriously lady, I saw you do it and gross. Just gross.

Are all rainy cold locales plagued with this, can anyone speak for the UK? They seem to have it figured out. Am I just projecting my false hope?