Dispatches from a second story bedroom

the proud and profane

This image was a game changer for me in 2001, it still is. 

Jil Sander Spring 2001

one way ticket on a westbound vein

Words cannot express how much I want to see this. But like everything I like, I have to shit on it first. I'm not sure if that's some pathological desire to keep others from wanting it or assuaging my own guilt about wanting it. Probably both!

I went and saw Easy A yesterday and this was one of the previews for it. I feel that some of my excitement stems from the fact that the internet doesn't understand statistical outliers. There are about 6 of my statistical outliers all crammed into this film. The internet did not present this to me in any form before seeing it on a 40 foot screen. It was so nice to be organically introduced to something in this age of everything-as-soon-as-it-is-available. Viral marketing be damned, I like an old school surprise and to be reminded that the internet doesn't know everything about me.

At any rate, in the movie  Stanley Tucci essentially played Nigel as Emma Stone's dad. He's sadly fallen into some gay Hollywood sidekick mobius strip of casting. There were an awful lot of jokes about being a confused bisexual for a teen movie. None of them were funny. The whole movie wasn't funny? Emma Stone is better than that movie? Stanley Tucci is definitely better than this movie. Having the Vans Warped Tour redo all the songs from every John Hughes movie you ever loved does not get the beneficent blessing from Sir John Hughes up in heaven either. Having some generic indie folk duo that went to college with Zach Braff on your soundtrack doing a Thompson Twins cover is a total boner massacre to one of my formative filmic fantasies. All I'm left with is an angry inch. But back to my point, Stanley Tucci needs to broaden his range or he'll forever be known as the toothless George Sanders of the early 21st century. Think more Big Night and less, "I'm redoing my kitchen." Maybe it's not his fault? Wait, did you see The Lovely Bones? Nice wig dude.

Ok, I love Cher movies. Name one you don't love. And while I don't actively listen to Christina Aguilera or own any of her albums I do appreciate her pipes. I love that someone else is in charge of her make up application for a good solid 90 minutes too. They dial back the spackle to the "Genie in a Bottle" days. She looks a decade younger. Hello 1999!

If those three weren't enough reason to see this movie, Alan Cumming pops up reminding us of his Cabaret revival days too. Kristen Bell must have a voice double because there's no way anyone who saw this or this thought she could stand up to Xtina, three plus years at Tisch or not, bitch please. I love you Veronica! The whole thing is directed by an Antin that is neither a hair dresser nor a Pussycat Doll. I know it looks a little too McG-y but it is modern burlesque, it's supposed to look over the top, right? No one is doing fucked up retro perv like Fosse these days, everything looks like a plastic playboy pictoral so when there are a bunch of things that you love involved and only a couple that you actively hate, a girl has got to take what she can get.

xoxo, Gossip Girl

LUGZ

      

Jeffrey Campbell Stem $200

I know that this is officially the year of the clog but for me, it has been the year of the LUG boot. I did a purple suede clog over a year ago and haven't been excited to revisit. Wearing clogs 8 hours a day, five days a week takes away any sort of fashion cachet (fachet?) they might appear to have. It's so gross to see people in fashion Danskos, enough to put you off the whole clog enterprise entirely. Forever. No one needs your personality expressed via uniform. Do these sorts of shenanigans pass as professional in any other place than a veterinarian clinic? I digress.

Back to my original thought! Am I profoundly in favor of gold hiking boots? I highly doubt these will be purchased but they gave me serious (not 200 dollars serious) pause. These have to go on sale, there's no way people want these. I am at one with the me that likes ugo shoes. My L.L. Bean coat came and even though it gives me douche chills to wear it like a vest I sort of like that I can. Wearing these gold boots with my burnt umber rain coat immediately flashed in my head as a possibility. I desperately need bright and shiny things in February when the SADs hit. Is that enough of a justification for these should they be on super sale in January and I'm not getting out of bed because the SADs are telling me not to bother? Isn't one pair of gold shoes in a closet enough? Isn't one shiny boot in a closet enough? Nina makes a compelling pro argument.

kept my heart in a tree for all the world to see

DO NOT SEARCH THE INTERNET FOR BROOCHES. YOU WILL FIND ONES THAT ARE COST PROHIBITIVE BUT AWESOME.

 

 

Marjan Pejoski Monkey Face Brooch $193

hold lots of hands

I made this and watched this and felt ashamed for not identifying with my generation. I would sell the lot of you for the right pair of platform shoes. Polyvore indulges my abstract thought process and allows me to see that one can survive with 9 pieces of clothing, 3 pairs of shoes, 1 bag, and a few accessories. 

P.S. Why can't there be archival de Havillands instead of the nouveau faux glam rock stuff that's been produced this century? Anyone who still wants them wants the shit with lightning bolts and electric colored snakeskin not the tame ones in black and natural python. Next! 

 

and i will have you

I just spent an hour looking at AdR's blog. Is it weird that I feel sated by this? She lives like a modern Marchesa Casati and I am really into that. It also feels like she stole this frame idea and I am into that as well.

I used to watch Fashion File and Fashion Television religiously in high school on Sunday afternoons. Now the Style network is too busy showing Clean House and Supernanny reruns to bother with actual fashion content. Am I supposed to look up to Niecy Nash as an icon of anything? Way to keep Jeanne Beker to yourselves, Canada. How about a little reciprocity, Canada?

cheaper than models

       

Georgia O'Keeffe steez via Taos or Tibet, your choice.

corpectomy

 

 

 

 

 

Immaculée - Numéro May 2007

borrowing dresses from Cher

I feel like too much emphasis is placed on 90s nostalgia right now, to the point where I'm totally turned off by everything I experienced then. I am reeling back my personal nostalgia to an era I didn't live through so I can properly idealize it without any conscious subtext. Early 70s Bette Midler and Cher have been serious summer avatars for me. This video is so great and I sat on it a few weeks ago but have still been thinking about it hardcore. Fucking variety show medleys are where it is at!

Then there are really crappy videos from the Continental Bath that make me sad they aren't embeddable or of better quality because I am freaking over the blurred stretch cotton turbans and Ossie Clark-esque dresses. 

Here is some video collaged over her doing a Tom Waits tune at the Continental Bath in 1971.  It's sad that the old gays have kept her such a secret because this shit is on a higher plane of existence. Why can't early Bette be for everyone?

...and oh my god look what I found. Her at the '74 Grammys with that 45 hat!

 

you can't put your arms around a memory

 

The Story of The Supremes

I am glad that someone made a book and youtubes of this V&A Museum show from 2008. There are so many choice tubes of Supremes performances. Seriously, it's a frosty lipgloss k-hole you won't feel bad about falling into. Do it!