Dispatches from a second story bedroom

details, asshole

Alright, there's no way Blaine could have known about 21 Jump Street on January 11th 1987. It didn't air until April. A cursory wiki check could have saved you from this embarrassing boner. My molecular memory told me that show wasn't a 1986 kinda show. Way to fucking go muscle memory. The brain is a muscle, use it, don't abuse it.

Also, a dude with a "Kid" high top fade fronting a band that has "Jessie's Girl" in their repertoire? At a ski resort? I can draw a line from Kid n' Play to the Black Eyed Peas but how does a 6 year old Rick Springfield song figure? Ignoring all of that, the real insult is BPE being the new hotness you bring from the future. Aren't Black Eyed Peas sort of the Poison of 2008? I'm kind of insulted, I remember the 80s better than the screenwriters who are older (yes I googled all 3 of them) than me. Can that be my job, fact checking scripts set in the 80s?  I'd un-anachronize your shit. Call me. 

Also, also, Lizzy Caplan kissing John Cusack. I don't truck with that crossing of streams. That is some straight up Lorraine and Marty McFly shit. He's 15 years older than you and looks at least 20 Lizzy. O.M.G. So much to hate! But I grudgefucked that movie to completion and don't have to think about it ever again. Hooray. Thanks Hot Tub Time Machine, but I've already lost your number, slut.

there were blue flames burning the sheets of his bed

Susan Meiselas is the Diane Arbus of our times. I love this set from a book called Pandora's Box. The décor is so Versailles-cum-Paris, Texas with a twist of Guccione's Caligula.

LUGZ

      

Jeffrey Campbell Stem $200

I know that this is officially the year of the clog but for me, it has been the year of the LUG boot. I did a purple suede clog over a year ago and haven't been excited to revisit. Wearing clogs 8 hours a day, five days a week takes away any sort of fashion cachet (fachet?) they might appear to have. It's so gross to see people in fashion Danskos, enough to put you off the whole clog enterprise entirely. Forever. No one needs your personality expressed via uniform. Do these sorts of shenanigans pass as professional in any other place than a veterinarian clinic? I digress.

Back to my original thought! Am I profoundly in favor of gold hiking boots? I highly doubt these will be purchased but they gave me serious (not 200 dollars serious) pause. These have to go on sale, there's no way people want these. I am at one with the me that likes ugo shoes. My L.L. Bean coat came and even though it gives me douche chills to wear it like a vest I sort of like that I can. Wearing these gold boots with my burnt umber rain coat immediately flashed in my head as a possibility. I desperately need bright and shiny things in February when the SADs hit. Is that enough of a justification for these should they be on super sale in January and I'm not getting out of bed because the SADs are telling me not to bother? Isn't one pair of gold shoes in a closet enough? Isn't one shiny boot in a closet enough? Nina makes a compelling pro argument.

wherein which I optic blast you

I don't really pay attention to this sort of shit because if I think too long and hard about it lazers shoot out of my eyes at everyone in the world. I become Cyclops before his infra-red ruby quartz Oakleys came online, AKA puberty.  This is not an argument about hate lazers and where they come from. It is about this novice POS.

 

I own a Smiths shirt, it cost 30 bucks. This jackassery is 12 times as expensive and 4 billion times less great. SOLD OUT? The joke writes itself!

such a super lady

Follow the bouncing ball.

that creep can roll man

worst pain there is

Living on the internet can be pretty LOLzebub for those watching it happen. Example:

 

Unfortunately I fall into the vilified category who don't see leaving one polyamorous partner for another to possibly make a go at monogamy (or not) a bad thing. There's nothing here that hints that she's not going to have an open relationship with her l'autre lover. Breaking up is hard to do so why not GTFU and not act like a maudlin teenager about it. You're 45 and throwing a tantrum on the internet about your lover dumping you. I don't think you're a dreamer, I think you're a greedy fucking dog in a manger who got away with it for far too long. One word: Icarus. 

Frankly, I was never really into your whole approach, you gross me out. But Terry Richardson had to take so much shit for bird doggin' 17 year-old models that I figure you need to take a solid hit for this wah-mbulance ride you took on the internet in front of god and everyone. Do what feels good Olivier and that something barely legal. 

 

I mean really, who could resist? 

best tits in the western world!

Sometimes I think movies are built around a single solitary scene.

happy tuesday

Just a little get yer ass out of bed music for Tuesday morning. 

rode a thumb

I am so charmed by this entire enterprise.  Thanks for throwing so much money at a worthy endeavor Nonesuch. Videos don't have to be about costume changes and madonna/whore symbolism to be good. Quelle surprise, Heather.