Dispatches from a second story bedroom

a long way down

Charles Anastase S/S 2011

This is my nightmare. It's a kitten sneeze away from an ankle fracture and a nip slip all in one. Those shoes are OOC. Who am I kidding, I call nip slip already. Those things are taped or I've just forgotten how perky 18 is was. 

a feeling I can't hide

Have this Sloan song internet.  It is from a Japanese import, very rare. It is my first offering of the new equinox. Jesus fuck it's 4 am and I am wired for sound and watching Suspect, starring Cher and Dennis Quaid.

wherein which I optic blast you

I don't really pay attention to this sort of shit because if I think too long and hard about it lazers shoot out of my eyes at everyone in the world. I become Cyclops before his infra-red ruby quartz Oakleys came online, AKA puberty.  This is not an argument about hate lazers and where they come from. It is about this novice POS.

 

I own a Smiths shirt, it cost 30 bucks. This jackassery is 12 times as expensive and 4 billion times less great. SOLD OUT? The joke writes itself!

hits just keep on coming

 

Alright inner nerd, where do you put this in your house? This seems like a kitchen picture? 

Sorry kids, shit got real Paul McCartney around here lately. It just happened, without my conscious knowledge. 

spy v. spy

I'm not sure what's worse, being a Juggalo or being in a pack of nerds making fun of concert-going ones. To their faces. Or possibly option C: being the one to bring them all together 4 months later.  

Andrew Kuo diagrammed my feelings back in April but the science nerds had to stir shit up again. Your science signage is pretty abysmal. Did you make those on the BART on the way to the show? I know physicists have heard of rulers. I would also wager that more science went into the CGI of "Miracles" than your entire enterprise, but that's just a bitchy guess.  Who makes time for flash mobbing in 2010, people still trolling Craigslist for fun ways to spend a Saturday afternoon? 

worst pain there is

Living on the internet can be pretty LOLzebub for those watching it happen. Example:

 

Unfortunately I fall into the vilified category who don't see leaving one polyamorous partner for another to possibly make a go at monogamy (or not) a bad thing. There's nothing here that hints that she's not going to have an open relationship with her l'autre lover. Breaking up is hard to do so why not GTFU and not act like a maudlin teenager about it. You're 45 and throwing a tantrum on the internet about your lover dumping you. I don't think you're a dreamer, I think you're a greedy fucking dog in a manger who got away with it for far too long. One word: Icarus. 

Frankly, I was never really into your whole approach, you gross me out. But Terry Richardson had to take so much shit for bird doggin' 17 year-old models that I figure you need to take a solid hit for this wah-mbulance ride you took on the internet in front of god and everyone. Do what feels good Olivier and that something barely legal. 

 

I mean really, who could resist? 

the howling

 

Did anyone see that awful Burroughs biopic with Courtney Love as his common-law wife he shot in the face? Even though this has the evolution of men aging instead of evolving happily through my bone zone, I still don't want to see it. David Strathairn is 60-plus with that incredible everlasting John Forsythe shock of hair that demands Brylcreem and I still want to hit it. Plus Jon Hamm being Don Draper being a beatnik lawyer and I still don't want to see it. Is Franco tanking my interest by trying to be everything to everyone?

I am pretty sure I've lost my ability to remain hopeful in that things that have a bunch of flavors I already like because they generally don't create a visual salad I want to eat (Poor metaphor!). The fact that James Franco won't get my ass in a seat but David Strathairn might, is indication enough that I need to start pledging to NPR. I am old balls over here. 

The real point is that there was never going to be a better Ginsberg than David Cross in I'm Not There. I know that he's supposed to be pre-beard AG but you're seriously asking us to believe that the same guy who played James Dean in the TNT Original made for TV movie James Dean can also do Ginsberg? 

Where's our Walter Matthau? James Franco is the best you could do? While I'm on the subject, can we give Seth Rogen a vacation? Talk about making a silk purse out of a sow's ear. That kid is a square peg being shoehorned into every round hole Hollywood has to offer (unintentional double entendre!). That kid is always going to be schlubby and perma-stoned. Why make him lose 60 lbs and take a normal human laugh class at the Santa Monica Learning Annex? Why take away his bankable traits just have him star in a summer action blockbuster? Then, simultaneously take a good looking actor and have them play a weird looking dude. God, talk about nerd fantasy fulfillment. It's like Kevin Smith popping up in all his movies for more than a cameo. Egalitarianism in Hollywood is a bummer. Now every leading man is an ugo. Congrats assholes.

Here's my million dollar Hollywood idea. If this ever should happen consider this shit copyrighted as of right now. John Slattery as Dashiell Hammett.  Like a remake of Julia but from the dude's side. There aren't enough stories told from the dude's perspective. I kid, I kid, didn't y'all see Reds?  Hollywood had its floating ribs removed years ago.

hump me

 

This is where I'm at today.